EST. 2014
Do you remember when you had hope for the future and so much love for today? I do. I remember the dreams you had about a land that didn't seem so far away. I remember when your eyes lit up every time someone mentioned your love. We were too young to understand and even feel true love. At least that's what they told us. But you proved them wrong, and loved with undoubtable sincerity. You loved deeply, and beyond all reason. Even today no one knows why. Your love was this life, and all that was in it. And life loved you back. The stars shone brighter when they were lit up for you. Because an audience of one is all they ever wanted. And an audience of one is what you guaranteed them. You watched the stars intently each night with more attention than most kids did, and I didn't understand why. What was so interesting about the stars? The little dots were there the night you told me they were special. They were there the night after that and the one after that. Obviously you saw something I did not because to me they were always there and always, more or less, dots. Wrong about love, maybe. But it seems to me that they were right when they said all good things must come to an end. Because I remember when your heart cracked. I remember seeing hope and love spill out; I remember seeing the stars disappear. I remember when you found out that the pot of gold came from a rainbow, but that the process didn't begin there. But that the gold only came because of a storm that ripped the world to pieces. I remember the days you cried without shedding a tear. I remember the distinct sound of your heart breaking while you sang and skipped with a smile on your face. I remember looking into your eyes, and pretending that the white wall behind you is what I wanted to see. I remember your eyes, because they saved my life even though I never knew you. I knew you could change, but I liked to believe you wouldnt. I knew love could change, but not that at any moment it could decide to up and leave. I knew life could change, but not that it could turn on you. I knew the stars existed, but not that their beauty relied on the eyes of the beholder. I never knew any of this till you. Till love left you, and life hurt you, and the stars dimmed in response. I remember this all, because you asked me too. I remember because such a person is unforgettable. I remember each event and its precise moment, because it was played out in front of me again and again in his and her life. I remember because I can see it all happening today. And now I know that the stars beauty doesn't rely on whether you or I has enough strength to look up and appreciate them. I now know that they'll be there each night to remind me of who we were. I know that each time I remember yesterday and the days we were too short for chairs, and later too big for theirs; each time my heart mimics the breaking of yours, I can do more than just notice. I can do more than pretend not to see and not to care. I can, in fact I need to, because the moment I saw the stars for stars everything changed. I could see the wonder created by a God I'd heard of and even sometimes limped after. I could see He meant it when He said we could be like eagles if we just asked, no limping required. Now that I see the stars for stars, and am beginning to see God for God I must give love for Love. This love is broken and overdue but it's all I have to share with you. He first loved me, and so now I'll try show that I love you. And maybe the next time you see me you'll see the piece of Him that you showed me. You might see some bruises and scars; don't feel bad, dare to ask me why they're there. Maybe I'll answer you and finally let you know the power you have to change lives and the beauty of your own.
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